Just as I thought I was comfortable enough to call myself a minimalist and start documenting my journey, I started going through my stuff and realised that "Oh.. maybe I’m not a minimalist after all.."
I am writing this as a reminder that it is about the journey rather than the destination. This is the reason why I wanted to start writing about my journey, because it is a journey. I'm not meant to be perfect while I'm on a journey, I'm meant to be making progress. I'm meant to be heading towards a destination. And if I’m on the way there, I should be fine. Phew. Here are a few things I have been reminding myself:
I am writing this as a reminder that it is about the journey rather than the destination. This is the reason why I wanted to start writing about my journey, because it is a journey. I'm not meant to be perfect while I'm on a journey, I'm meant to be making progress. I'm meant to be heading towards a destination. And if I’m on the way there, I should be fine. Phew. Here are a few things I have been reminding myself:
- We bring things into our lives and they have a way of accumulating, especially if we do not go through them often.
- If we’re not careful, our lives end up just being surrounded by things that we don’t even like but hold on just because we are emotionally attached to it.
- Emotional attachment to an item is usually an attachment to a memory attached to the specific item or attachment to the person who gave the item.
- Example #1: I can’t throw this item away because I bought it during my trip to India 8 years ago! In this first example, we are attached to the memory (Trip to India) and associate it with the item.
- Example #2: I feel unable to detach myself from this item because my grandma gave it to me! In this second example, we are attached to the person who gave us the item (grandma) and associate it with the item.
- Know that you can still cherish the memory and the person who gave you the item, but you can let the item go, especially if it is of no use to you.
- It’s okay to let things go - even if it costed a lot. You paid for it, you used it and it has served its purpose. Say thank you to it for its service, then say goodbye.
- If you didn’t/ haven't use it, be happy that it will be of benefit to someone else!
- It’s okay to spend money on things that you really love and will use.
- Constantly be critical of what serves a purpose in your life.
Here are a few updates on my minimalist journey:
- I've Generally Stopped Buying Books
I went to the public library and...
↠ Donated the books that I've read and knew that I wasn't going to read again
↠ Donated the books I know I wasn't ever going to read
↠ Donated the books that I kept telling myself I would 'someday' read but knew for a fact I'd never read
I went to a second-hand bookstore and...
↠ Sold some books at a really cheap price
↠ Reminded myself that the price I paid for the book has served its purpose. e.g. If I paid RM50 for a book, I have gotten the value of RM50 by reading the book and now it's time for me to let it go.
↠ Reminded myself that someone else would enjoy the books that I've enjoyed!
↠ Someone else would also enjoy the books that I did not enjoy, haha.
I'm spreading love by donating/ selling the books. It would benefit someone else. :)
How do I read now?
↠ Online.
There are multiple websites and platforms that you could read books on. I'm not always legal but hey, there are plenty of legal options such as kindle and so on.
↠ Friends.
Alhamdulillah I'm blessed with friends who enjoy reading so I borrow books from them. Tips: It's important to know how your friends cherish their books and please return their books on time! I have friends who hate breaking the spine of books, whereas I don't really care. So just be careful with other people's belongings.
↠ Second-hand bookstore/ Book Rental.
I have a second-hand bookstore/ book rental near my place called the Reader's Paradise. Most of the time, they'd have the books that I want and the way that this bookstore works is I could either purchase the book for a low price or I could rent it for RM5. So initially I'd pay the original price of the book and when I return it within a month, they'd give me the money back and keep RM5 as the cost of rental. It's pretty cheap, they carry a great selection of books and I borrowed the Harry Potter series from this bookstore! :D
- Items of Clothing
I’ve been watching videos and reading on ways to find my own personal style and I’ve also just been asking myself what makes me most comfortable + the types of clothes that would make me look nice while covering my aurah so I can pray with whatever I have on. While having that in mind, I took all my clothes out of my closet and went through each and every one of them. Got rid of a few, need to take a few to the tailor and kept the clothes I genuinely enjoy. I'm so happy with my closet now.
I also started to mix and match some items of clothing in my head for me to wear later only to forget all of them the next day, haha. I later found this app called GetWardrobe which would help you organise, plan and match your clothes. I have yet to do it, but it seems like a nice idea. It's just tedious and time consuming to sit and snap each item of clothing - but definitely something I will do once i get the time.
I also started to mix and match some items of clothing in my head for me to wear later only to forget all of them the next day, haha. I later found this app called GetWardrobe which would help you organise, plan and match your clothes. I have yet to do it, but it seems like a nice idea. It's just tedious and time consuming to sit and snap each item of clothing - but definitely something I will do once i get the time.
- Make Up / Skin Care
This isn’t something that I’ve done recently but did a few months ago. Did you know that things expire? Hahaha. Because I freaked when I found out that they do and that I’ve been keeping lipsticks from 2013! I got rid of things that I got ages ago + colours that don’t suit me anymore + skincare that don’t work for me.
- Created a Junk Pile
One thing that I’ve done which has really helped me in my minimalism journey is to make the things that I no longer want VISIBLE. If we start organising things and keeping them back into where they used to belong, the chances of us actually getting rid of it becomes so much slimmer. However, by making them visible, there’s always that nagging voice in your head that will go “hey you’ve got to get rid of that” because a junk pile is such an eye sore. I think the minimalists have the concept of a junk box, but I prefer just piling them up in a corner of my room since that helps me better.
- Letting Go: Non-Material Minimalism
I am learning to say no when I have to. I’m still kinda bad at it, and sometimes when people call me out on me saying no I start feeling terrible and reconsidering my choices, but sometimes no is good and a must. If you’ve got $50 to last you till the end of the month, saying no to any outings is useful. If you hear something that you don't agree with, saying no voicing out what you think is right is important (something that I actually really struggle with). And this can go on and on.
- Developing Self-Confidence
Part of minimalism is to focus on the important things in life and letting go of the things that do not align with what you hold to be important.
One of the important things that I want to start focusing on is self-confidence. I'm quite an insecure person. Alhamdulillah my insecurities are not paralysing insecurities that let fear swallow me whole, but I am starting to notice that sometimes I don't own up to the things that I deeply believe in and feel strongly about because I'm shy. It's quite ridiculous. Maybe a dumb part of me believes that if I say them out loud, I'll somehow make it less real. Maybe they're just too personal and too close to my heart that saying it out loud feels like exposing a part of me I don't want anyone to know about. Maybe I don't feel worthy of the things that I want in life. Maybe I think people ask questions in the passing, and don't put too much thought on them whereas I've thought deeply about the things that they asked me (sounds proud, I know, but I mean that in the least prideful way). Lotsa maybes. Haha. But I am starting to think that its okay to say some things that I believe and feel deeply about. Even if people disagree with me. Even if they challenge me. Even if.. yeah. I just want to own up to what is in my heart and let them translate into actual convictions and actions. That's all.
I now have a pile of things to be thrown and a junk drawer of things to seriously consider. But when I look back at where I first started: a bookshelf filled with books I didn't and wouldn't ever read and a handful of which I enjoyed and a wardrobe filled with clothes I hadn't and wouldn't ever wear and a handful of clothes that I repeated often to where I am now. Alhamdulillah for progress, regardless of how little I feel it is. I have a long way to go, but hey, it's a journey and one that I'm glad that I'm making.
Till next time,
Aisyah.
One of the important things that I want to start focusing on is self-confidence. I'm quite an insecure person. Alhamdulillah my insecurities are not paralysing insecurities that let fear swallow me whole, but I am starting to notice that sometimes I don't own up to the things that I deeply believe in and feel strongly about because I'm shy. It's quite ridiculous. Maybe a dumb part of me believes that if I say them out loud, I'll somehow make it less real. Maybe they're just too personal and too close to my heart that saying it out loud feels like exposing a part of me I don't want anyone to know about. Maybe I don't feel worthy of the things that I want in life. Maybe I think people ask questions in the passing, and don't put too much thought on them whereas I've thought deeply about the things that they asked me (sounds proud, I know, but I mean that in the least prideful way). Lotsa maybes. Haha. But I am starting to think that its okay to say some things that I believe and feel deeply about. Even if people disagree with me. Even if they challenge me. Even if.. yeah. I just want to own up to what is in my heart and let them translate into actual convictions and actions. That's all.
***
I now have a pile of things to be thrown and a junk drawer of things to seriously consider. But when I look back at where I first started: a bookshelf filled with books I didn't and wouldn't ever read and a handful of which I enjoyed and a wardrobe filled with clothes I hadn't and wouldn't ever wear and a handful of clothes that I repeated often to where I am now. Alhamdulillah for progress, regardless of how little I feel it is. I have a long way to go, but hey, it's a journey and one that I'm glad that I'm making.
Till next time,
Aisyah.
