Bismillah. Salaam and hi!
It's April and Ramadan - two of my favourite months combined together - and I couldn't miss the opportunity to update this space after months of disappearing. How is your Ramadan going so far?
This year's Ramadan is significantly different from my previous Ramadan. I'm with a new family, Malaysia's implementing a Restricted Movement Order (RMO) due to Covid-19 so I can't see my own family except through FaceTime and WhatsApp calls despite the fact that they live 5 kilometres away and the usual Ramadan routine and projects that I've had since I was 17 years old which kept me busy before have been abandoned due to the RMO and also due to the fact that I am married.
On top of all, I haven't been feeling my best-self since Ramadan started, and I couldn't fast daily and whenever I do, it drains the energy out of me and leaves me feeling sick after I break my fast, which has left me frustrated and in tears.
A couple of nights ago I was reading the Qur'an and stumbled upon this verse:
"And establish prayer and give zakah, and whatever good you put forward for yourselves - you will find it with Allah. Surely, Allah sees all that you do."
Al Baqarah (2:110)
Reading that made my heart feel full and brought tears to my eye. I was feeling so futile and felt that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to because I simply wasn't able to do so, and whatever good I was doing did not feel sufficient. When I read that, I was comforted by the fact that Allah sees that I am trying and whatever good that I was doing will be with Allah, with His will.
I've made a few goals this Ramadan and have kept it simple but I have one main goal.
Ramadan 2020:
I want to read the Qur'an in understanding this year.
I used to set goals to finish the Qur'an in Arabic in the past Ramadans because Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) used to recite the entire Qur'an to Angel Jibril (A.S) in Ramadan and in the year of his death, he recited it to Angel Jibril (A.S) twice.
Although I've finished the Qur'an in Arabic a few times, I've never read the Qur'an in its entirety in any language that I understood because:
1. Finishing the Qur'an in Arabic is emphasised upon by the people around me since Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) did it, but what I failed to understand was that Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) read the Qur'an in his mother tongue and in a language that he understood.
2. In the past I found it difficult to understand the format in which the Qur'an was written in and the relevance between one story to another within the same surah and sometimes some concepts were way above my head. Alhamdulillah tafsir classes in college has widened my perspective of the Qur'an and made me fall in love and understand it in a way that I've never before. I understand why Allah speaks the way He does, I find wisdom and awe in His rulings and stories and questions and relevance to the topics mentioned in my life.
This Ramadan, I've been taking it slow and reading the Qur'an and referring to tafsir and just soaking in all in and I've been excited and amazed by what I've been reading so far. I want to read in reflection this year and my goal is no longer to finish the Qur'an by the end of Ramadan but to embark on this journey of understanding Allah's words, reflecting upon it and hope to come out of Ramadan a better person and to continue to be on this journey for the rest of my life, in shaa Allah. ♡
Besides that, I've been playing a lot of board games since being stuck at home and have a few personal favourites. I've learnt to love Monopoly and CLUEDO and the different variations / editions of each game. Buuuuut, what I wanted to share is an Islamic board game by a company called Goodword. This has also made me realise my lack of knowledge when it comes to the Qur'an which put me to shame. More reasons to read the Qur'an in understanding, hahaha.
Although this board game is aimed for children 5-10 years old, I can safely say I don't know any child who would be able to answer all these questions, and I teach 5-10 year olds Islamic studies. There's also Quran Challenge Game for adults which has 600 questions (I don't have it yet since unfortunately it is out of stock) and Hadith Challenge Game. It's a fun way to learn more. 10/10 would recommend all of them.
Lastly, I finished reading the biography of Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) called When the Moon Split. I've used it in the past for my sirah class in college and recommended it in my monthly favourites, but I'd like to recommend it again since I read it cover-to-cover this time. The author uses authentic sources and he wrote the biography in an easy to understand, story-like manner which I loved.
That is it for now. I'm sure Ramadan is different for all of you too and hope you have a beneficial Ramadan regardless of the current situation. Let's do our best and make the most out of it.
"...and whatever good you put forward for yourselves - you will find it with Allah. Surely, Allah sees all that you do." :)
Lots of love,
Aisyah.
