PART I
(also published on my other blog)
As a child, I always asked the question "why". In order for Little Aisyah's brain to process something, she needed to know the reason behind it. My questions never came from a place to challenge or to mock. It always came from a place of sincerity, curiosity and a genuine need to understand. However, my questions were not always answered by the adults in my life: especially those who were in a position to educate me, people who were supposed to be people who my source of knowledge and were supposed to know the answers. I was always told to not ask too many questions and to do as I'm told.
Perhaps it is part of the Nusantara culture: to be quiet and obey. I see it in my parents too: my Punjabi dad is the one to voice out his concerns and questions out loud, while my Javanese mum would silently carry out any commands. My dad would encourage me to think, to ask, to understand, to read more and know whereas my mum is more practical and hands-on and would encourage me to focus on actions rather than accumulation of knowledge.
Unfortunately this culture applies to religious knowledge and upbringing too. Children would be told to not question and when they do, they are dismissed and swept under the rug. At times, they are shamed and ridiculed. These children grow up to be adults with lack of understanding of the religion, hearts filled with doubts and we wonder where we go wrong.
Prophet Ibrahim (alayhi salaam) was born in a society where people worshiped idols. Although he was just a child, he knew that idols could not be God. He wanted to know who the true God was. Allah describes the story of Ibrahim (alayhi salaam) in Surah al-An'am (6:74-83):
And when Abraham said to his father Azar, "Do you take idols as deities? Indeed, I see you and your people to be in manifest error." And thus did We show Abraham the realm of the heavens and the earth that he would be among the certain (in faith). So when the night covered him (with darkness), he saw a star. He said, "This is my lord." But when it set, he said, "I like not those that disappear." And when he saw the moon rising, he said, "This is my lord." But when it set, he said, "Unless my Lord guides me, I will surely be among the people gone astray." And when he saw the sun rising, he said, "This is my lord; this is greater." But when it set, he said, "O my people, indeed I am free from what you associate with Allah . Indeed, I have turned my face toward He who created the heavens and the earth, inclining toward truth, and I am not of those who associate others with Allah."
Prophet Ibrahim (alayhi salaam) had a genuine curiosity. He knew that God existed, but he didn't know who was God. Therefore he observed his environment and wondered to himself, 'Who is God?' He did not dismiss his questions, he wanted the truth and he searched for it. Finally, he found his answer: God is not the idols, the stars, moon and the sun. God is He who created the heavens and the earth - the Almighty Allah. Prophet Ibrahim (alayhi salaam) wouldn't have gotten an answer if he didn't confront his doubts and the questions that he had in his mind.
On the contrary, the Qur'an also describes the story of Bani Isra'il, also known as the Children of Isra'il. They were also asking questions - just like Ibrahim (alayhi salaam) did. Their story is described in Surah al-Baqarah which in English, literally translates as 'The Cow'. Allah says in (2:67-71):
And when Moses said to his people, "Indeed, Allah commands you to slaughter a cow." They said, "Do you take us in ridicule?" He said, "I seek refuge in Allah from being among the ignorant." They said, "Call upon your Lord to make clear to us what it is." (Musa) said, "(Allah) says, 'It is a cow which is neither old nor virgin, but median between that,' so do what you are commanded." They said, "Call upon your Lord to show us what is her color." He said, "He says, 'It is a yellow cow, bright in color - pleasing to the observers.' "They said, "Call upon your Lord to make clear to us what it is. Indeed, cows look alike to us. And indeed we, if Allah wills, will be guided." He said, "He says, 'It is a cow neither trained to plow the earth nor to irrigate the field, one free from fault with no spot upon her.' " They said, "Now you have come with the truth." So they slaughtered her, but they could hardly do it.
The Children of Isra'il had a simple commandment: slaughter a cow. They had many questions before they could carry out the command of Allah. Each time their question was answered, but they had more questions and still had not carried out Allah's command. In the end, the matter became so difficult upon them because of how detailed the description became. However, the larger problem was the fact that they were asking the questions not to gladly submit to Almighty Allah, but as a deterrent to carry out the command. They did it in the end, but they were hardly able to and almost didn't. What was the difference between the questions of Prophet Ibrahim (alayhi salaam) and the questions of the Children of Isra'il?
Prophet Ibrahim (alayhi salaam) was curious and wanted to know the truth so that He could submit himself to Allah whereas the Children of Isra'il's questions were asked so that they can avoid submitting themselves to Allah.
I am a firm believer that we could not bottle up our doubts. If there is something within Islam that you don't understand, I would highly encourage you to seek your answers. Be curious, but be genuine and sincere. The first One you should turn to for your questions is Allah. Make du'a to Him and sincerely ask Him to guide you to the truth, just like Ibrahim (alayhi salaam) asked Allah while he was observing the stars, moon and the sun. Allah is Al-Hadi - the Guide. Put your trust in Him and He will guide you. However, have patience in your heart. Some answers will take time to unravel themselves. Sometimes it takes seconds, sometimes years. I pray that we find the answers that we are looking for and that Allah strengthens our hearts and our faiths with it. May we be among those who are guided.
Lots of love,
Aisyah.
